


Disrupt the Whole Scene

by Raisintorte



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-20
Updated: 2009-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-19 10:06:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raisintorte/pseuds/Raisintorte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John never thought the intergalactic prank war would end well.  He just didn't expect it to end quite like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disrupt the Whole Scene

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers through The Lost Tribe.
> 
> Written for ubiquitous_girl for the sg_flyboys John/Cam thing-a-thon. Thanks to unflexible and pixie_on_acid for betaing!

John knew he was in trouble the morning he woke up and there was what appeared to be some sort of sex idol (or at least John assumed it was a sex idol given the size of its . . . endowment) duct taped to the ceiling right above his bed. Then, as John tried to move his arms and legs he realized he couldn't - like the sex idol on his ceiling, John was duct taped to his bed. Fantastic. Pretty much the only person capable sneaking into his quarters and taping the idol to the ceiling without waking John up would be Ronon. Ronon was also the only person capable of taping him to bed because this particular feat would have to involve sneaking into the room and stunning John, and he didn't really think anyone else on Atlantis had the balls to do that. And if Ronon had gotten involved in this ever escalating prank war John had going with Cam, John would have hoped Ronon would have landed on _his_ side.

But seeing as John was duct taped to his bed, Ronon was clearly not on his side. Fantastic.

The pranks had been going on for a few months now, starting after Cam had come to Atlantis with SG1 to stop the Ori supergate. While they were waiting around Atlantis for Daniel to finish his research, John had dragged Cam off world because the man had clearly been going stir crazy. What was supposed to have been a nice simple trading mission had turned into a three day feast and celebration, at the end of which John and Cam returned to Atlantis a little hungover and with an impressive amount of off world swag, including several idols and statues of the various gods and goddesses of that particular world. John and Cam had had a good time being 12 year old boys (well, intoxicated 12 year old boys) and doing dirty things with the idols (in the privacy of their hut of course, they didn't want to offend the locals).

Given what they did for a living, John was constantly looking for ways to keep things light. And turning a prayer goddess from PX3-768 into a jack-in-the-box and sending it to Cam through the Daedelus seemed like such a good idea at the time. How was John supposed to know that Cam would open it in front of SG-1 and shriek when she popped out?

And then came the retaliation. Cam had it easy when Sam was on - base - he just sent her general ideas, and boy did that lady have one evil streak - John was still smarting from the exploding purple powder ball she left in his room. He swore, even though Zelenka insisted the cleaning solution worked, that Johnny still was a little lavender.

John had enlisted Zelenka for payback (he had thought about getting Rodney to help, but he didn't need anything elaborate (or atomically explosive) he just needed quick, dirty, and effective. Besides, he needed to keep Rodney in his back pocket in case he really did need something elaborate (or atomically explosive) to one up Cam) and SGC scuttlebutt confirmed that Zelenka's glitter bomb had been super effective. Rumor had it that Cam still sparkled a little in the right light. Vala had had a field day making up new nick names for Cam. All of which she promptly emailed to John.

 _However_ , and oh yes, there was a big however, Teal'c had been in Cam's room when the "bomb" had gone off . . . and well, John didn't know Teal'c well, but being covered in mutli- colored glitter hadn't exactly made him happy . . . and ding, ding, ding, Teal'c must have recruited Ronon. Teal'c asking Ronon to help was one thing - why Chewy went over to the darkside was something John was going to have to figure out - _after_ he freed himself from his bed.

He struggled with the tape for a few minutes to no avail, which, thankfully was pretty painless as Ronon had been slightly thoughtful and taped around the sheet, so he would leave this adventure with of his body hair intact.

The thing was, he had to free himself because eventually, someone was going to realize John wasn't out and about and come looking, and that someone would probably be Lorne, who generally could be trusted to keep his mouth shut. However, if John was missing, Lorne wouldn't be alone. Ronon (evil, evil Ronon) would probably be with him, and Teyla, and Rodney, and maybe even Woolsey. And they? (well, not Teyla - she would keep his secret ) were not so good with the whole keeping the mouth shut thing. Ronon would probably bring along the fancy new digital camera he had picked up the last time they were on Earth and send those pictures right to Cam . . . if he hadn't taken them already while John was passed out, and dude, those would probably get John in a bit of trouble - Generals tended not to like seeing pictures of their high ranking military officers unconscious and taped to a bed. Then again, Cam didn't want him in trouble - just embarrassed, so there probably wouldn't be pictures.

Anyway, enough thinking about what might be - he had to get out before what was. John almost had his feet loose when his door whooshed open and in walked . . . Cam.

"Mitchell? Seriously? What the hell are you doing here?" As military commander, one would think John would know if members of SG-1 were going to appear on Atlantis.

Cam walked over and started undoing the tape. "Last minute trip - and I have to say, the timing worked out perfectly. Daniel thinks he found another one of Janus' hidden labs. We all decided to come along for the ride seeing as last time, Jackson and McKay got stolen by rogue Asgard." Cam was slowly working his way up, unwinding the tape, "Gotta say Sheppard, I'm impressed with Ronon's work here. Totally not my idea, but it is pretty fantastic."

John stretched his legs once they were free. "Did Teal'c come with you?" John must have looked a little panicked because Cam started laughing at him.

"Yup, but no worries. T has a sense of humor, and once Ronon assured him you had been suitably paid back, they ran off to the gym to beat each other up. Vala went with them allegedly to supervise, but I'm pretty sure she's running a book."

"Of course she is. And I bet Chuck is helping. So truce?" John sat up as Cam pulled the last of the tape off the sheet around his arms.

"Yeah. I think we're even now. Though, I think Ronon , Teal'c, and I are the only ones who know about this one, but that's okay." Cam grinned and winked at John. "Not that I didn't enjoy this - it was a fun distraction."

"That it was, but I can think of other fun intergalatic distractions that might be a little more . . . .entertaining." John reached forward and snagged the front of Cam's shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.

Cam stopped himself by bracing his arms on either side of John. Cam lifted his head, "Yeah, I think I might like this distraction." Cam leaned in for another kiss, sneaking his hand under John's shirt and John decided that this was going to be much more interesting (and entertaining) than the pranks ever were.


End file.
